i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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