This girl is more easily done than said...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
