Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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