I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
