Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
