You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
