no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
