i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
