Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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