Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
