So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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