one might say we're banned from that church
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
