it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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