If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she pinky promised me she was 18
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
false alarm, still single
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
