i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
