it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
