$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize