dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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