I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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