well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
