Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
