operation have a gay friend backfired
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
