we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize