is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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