conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
