So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
