His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize