Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
