It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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