we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
