so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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