Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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