I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
