just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
