Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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