I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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