Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
