i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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