What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
