Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
