So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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