just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
