Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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