that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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