maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
