guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize