no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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