bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize