Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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