he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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