Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
