it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
