I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
