I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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