Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
