Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
