I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
