(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The air taste purple.
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