i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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