its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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